My dentist would turn in his grave if I had one and he was dead.

My dentist would turn in his grave if I had one and he was dead.

If you’ve ever wondered if brushing your teeth with Bi-Carb Soda would make them whiter, I’m here to tell you it does…..not taste very good.
But it works! And WikiHow told me if you only do it once every month or every few weeks it just gets rid of the coffee/cigarette/red wine stains but won’t be too damaging to the enamel…and let’s be honest, the stuff you’re ingesting is way worse for you than the stuff you use to clean off the stains it leaves on your teeth.

I usually use a natural toothpaste the name of which escapes me but it has a koala on it and is made from the love tears of vegan hippies combined with a fluoride mouthwash every now and then plus flossing all the time (except the actual brushing I am EXTRAORDINARILY slack with; please refer to New Year’s Resolution post), and none of that is doing anything for making my teeth whiter.

Sooooo, I’m quite happy with this result; my teeth have always been yellowy from years of smashing red wine, coffee, and general misuse/lack of care so with my new year’s resolution of taking superdooper good care of my teeth I’ve decided to allow myself to Bi-Carb them every once in a while to feel all exciting and non-stainy. Woo! It’s the small things.

Gazpacho, anyone?

So last night at futsal I hit David in the arm with my face and as a result my jaw has gone on strike and I cannot eat solid foods for a couple of days. Which is fantastic, because it’s going to be 40+ degrees (celsius) for the next four days straight here in Melbourne, which is ideal soup weather, really. 
I mean, I can still eat soft melted ice cream as well but you know, as much as I’d like it to be, that’s just not proper food with sustenance. Also, I prefer soy ice cream because I’m trying to move away from eating dairy for many reasons which I shan’t be divulging right now. 

In summary, my jaw really hurts and I’m currently eating vegetable soup while getting ready for work. 

WA begins shark culling today. Un-fucking-believable.

In Western Australia, new laws have been passed so that shark culling can begin- that is to say, they are going to start killing off sharks that swim in the waters surrounding the beautiful beaches so that more humans can pollute said beaches with their cigarette butts, broken bottles and other such crap. Fuck, this makes me so mad! 
Aside from being unfair to the sharks who are doing NOTHING but living in their normal habitat and doing what comes naturally to them (i.e., biting and eating the smaller creatures that swim in their path), it’s bad juju and fairly dangerous business to go messing with the oceanic food chain and culling off sharks, plus if prevention of human attacks is the goal, there are so many other options that seem way more practical and logical. 
It’s good to see so many people agree with me; there have been loads of rallies against the culling. 

Ugh. It’s just so utterly unacceptable and cruel. 

Living without money/living outside of the money world

This man has no income, no expenses, in fact money isn’t involved in his life whatsoever, and it’s amazing. He’s having a ball.

This ties in really well with my 2014 goal to become a broke fucker who lives a super cheap life. I mean, I have a one-way ticket for a plan that leaves in 4 months’ time, and I’m going to have to make whatever money I have saved by then last me as long as it possibly can because I have no idea how expensive my summer in Spain is going to be, nor do I have any idea how hard or easy it will be to get a job when I finally settle in London but I know I am going to have to be living the cheap life for serious. Squeezing every penny and whatnot….


So here is a video of me being awkward and humming, whistling, and describing the song (or fragment of a song) that has been stuck in my head since February 2013. If you’ve ever been any good at the ‘Substitute’ segment of the music trivia show Spicks and Specs (I am terrible at it) then you may actually decipher some actual song from this.
Also please excuse my wonky humming and whistling.

On resolving to do certain things in the new year….

Aaaaaaaaah, I’m so exhausted but I have to write immediately otherwise I just won’t get around to it.
Sooooo you know how everyone disses New Year Resolutions because ‘why don’t you just make a change in your life when you want to, why does it have to be January’ and because ‘you never stick to them anyway’ and bla bla bla….well, my dad always made us write them down as kids, and I’ve always kept up the habit and it’s served me well.
I think it’s very important to keep track of short- AND long-term goals, and to have them written somewhere you will see them every day. (My list from last year was on my fridge in my old flat in Madrid and I accidentally left it there when I moved back to Australia, and my soul sister Cleo kept tabs on me across the seas and making sure I was sticking to them through-out the year, it was sick.)
I’ve been incredibly slack with this little blog for a while, but I’m determined to get it up and running. I basically want it to be a way for me to express all of the ideas/whinging/white noise/inspiration/everything that comes out of my brain, and I also want to stop using Facebook because it’s the devil so I need to commit to writing on it more so it becomes a habit.

So without further ado, my resolutions for 2014 are:

1. To learn to hula-hoop. 

2. To become one of those people who spends next to nothing and lives off fuck-all money and manages to make a tenner last a week. You know the kind. 

3. To write at least one genuine blog-post per week. 

4. To minimise sun exposure so as not to get sunburnt or even sun-pinkened (I’m super pale and freckly so I look terrible when I get a bit too much sun, and I’m also super keen not to get skin cancer).

5. Brush and floss my teeth daily. I know! I’m a scumbag. But some days I just don’t! It’s my dirtiest secret and I’m ready to change! 

6. To play football (soccer) in Spain over summer while I’m there….because I love football and it would be really fun, but I was too scared to kind of put myself out there and ask people to have a kick when I lived in Madrid last year. Also it was winter. 

7. To play football in England when I move there later this year.  I want to hone my football skills and become mad awesome at it because I love it. Basically I want to be like Ronaldo but, like, way better, yeah?  

8. To learn more piano. I know this is phrased weirdly but I learnt it as a kid and I did a little bit of practice last (2013) year and I really want to do more! 

9. To learn more French. (Same goes: it was a resolution last year, and I did a little, plus I did it in high school which I’ve mostly suppressed, but I’d like to do a lot more!)


There are a few more but that’s the nib and jist of it! The hula-hooping one is coming along quite nicely so far. I’ll post a video at some point, when I figure out how. Actually first I’ll probably post a video of me singing this song that’s been in my head for fucking TEN MONTHS. Yeah, I think I’ll do that right now. 

Happy new year, everyone!